


Clearing the Steam

by pherryt



Series: SPN GENRE BINGO [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Bottom!Cas, Dirty Talk, F/M, Feelings, First Time Bottoming, M/M, Pegging, Porn with Feelings, Pushing boundaries, Shower Sex, Switching, Top!Cas, bottom!meg, but cas realizes it and tries to push past, established megstiel, meg helps, shower, showering together, some internalized homophobia, top!meg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 18:35:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15735090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pherryt/pseuds/pherryt
Summary: Castiel is trying to work through some things but it'sso damn hard, with an extra helping or two of guilt spread on top. Thankfully, Meg is there to help him come to terms with those parts of himself he's never really been able to admit to - and to suggest something else that could resolve so much of his guilt.Of course, Meg being Meg, has an unorthodox way of making him feel better.





	Clearing the Steam

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DeadlyKittenKay (PrettyBlueIz)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyBlueIz/gifts).



> I felt so guilty when deadly-kitten-kay picked one of my bingo squares and her first ship choice was Megstiel. I went with her second choice (DCJ) because I see Megstiel but i don't usually feel it.
> 
> and then this happened and now i'm feeling it :D
> 
> so i'm putting this IN the SPN GENRE BINGO collection but it is NOT a new square. it is an ALTERNATIVE story for the Showering Square which has already been filled.
> 
> Also, titles are hard. I so wanted to use "Coming to Terms" but i didn't cause that's a really good fic by Unforth. And "Cumming to Terms" was suggested but though funny, did not fit the tone o f this story, so...
> 
> Also. Art - NSFW (nude but no 'action') was made for this story in an attempt to prolong coming up with a title. whoops :D

The water beat down on his head and shoulders, near scalding, pattering against the walls and floor of the shower. His shoulders were tense and his breathing short as he stood there, eyes closed and fists clenched. He knew he was being irrational - he  _ knew it -  _ and that Meg just wanted to help him get over his fears and face his desires but God… it was just so  _ hard. _

The shower door opened and closed quietly enough that he might never have known it happened if there wasn’t a small blast of cooler air brushing over his skin, causing goosebumps to rise briefly.

Of course, as preoccupied with his heavy thoughts as he was, if he had missed that sign that he was no longer alone in the shower, he could hardly remain oblivious when small hands touched his back and slid around to his front, drawing him back into the soft, plush body of one of his best friends.

Lips touched his shoulders. “I’m sorry Clarence. I’m sorry I pushed the issue. I know what you went through growing up. I know it messed you up bad. I just wanted you to be happy.” 

“I can’t, Meg. I’m not... I’m not ready to... He’s my best friend...” Cas whispered. “And I want him so bad but I can’t help feeling so… so  _ ashamed  _ for wanting him… ” And guilty, he’d realized, because he already had Meg, and she was so good to him. Aside from Dean, he’d never had a truer friend. How could he be so  _ selfish? _

“Shhh... It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Clarence. It’s perfectly natural,” Meg soothed. “You need to relax and I’ve got just the thing to help with that.”

Megs hands were dainty yet strong. She may be small but she was nothing if not fierce, brash, feisty and determined. Her friendship was hard-won but once it was yours, she was a force to be reckoned with if anyone messed with you.

Cas was very lucky to know her and he had no idea how they’d wound up together, but he hadn’t regretted a second of it. She’d helped him overcome so many things…

She’d also gotten him into a lot of trouble over the years, but he wouldn’t trade any of it for not knowing he at all. If he lost her friendship, there would be a Meg shaped hole in his life that he wouldn't know how to deal with. It was just one of the reasons why he was afraid of what he felt for Dean, one that he hadn’t told her. He wasn’t sure  _ how _ .

All Cas knew was that he didn’t want to lose Meg. 

She pressed along his back and kissed his shoulders but it was her hands doing the magic as they slid down his body to cup his balls and pull at his cock. Cas’s head thunked forward against the wall with a whimper as she stroked him to hardness.

With her positioned at his back like this it was almost easy to think of someone else touching him in just this way (Dean) – someone he may have been dreaming about for while ( _ Dean _ ), someone who had him waking up hard and needy (Dean!) and feeling so goddamn guilty about it - but even now, even with Meg’s assurances and support, Cas still shied away from the thought.

Instead, he whirled around to face her, chasing those phantoms he wasn’t ready for away with real kisses and sensual touch.

He leaned down to capture her mouth with his, his hands coming up to grip her long beautiful hair as they kissed hard, desperation tingeing his need. She backed up slowly until the wall stopped her, pulling him along with her, all with her hands on his ass, groping and squeezing. It was driving him crazy...

_ Would she.... would she... _ he almost sobbed and their kiss broke as he looked down at her panting hard. 

His breathing hitched when she  _ did _ do what he didn’t ever dare ask for but had always wanted, buried down deep. Her fingers darted down between the crevice of his butt cheeks and he buried his face in her neck with a whimper, his shoulders tensing in panic and anticipation. He wanted but didn’t want to admit it.

He’d never been allowed to before and it was so hard to tell himself it was okay now.  _ Why was it so hard? _

She pulled him into her, his erection heavy and rubbing against her in tantalizing, abortive movements as her finger circled his rim, darting closer and moving away, taunting him.

“Please,” he whispered hoarsely, mouthing at her neck. He almost didn’t recognize his own voice, so thick with need and so damn scared and ashamed. His tears mingled with the water of the shower and he was glad of it, glad nobody could see his weakness, even Meg.

Finally, Meg took mercy on him and slowly pushed her wet finger inside. He whimpered again, stilling at the intrusion. She pulled it back out and he almost cried out in desperation before it returned. She kept it up with slow, shallow and oh so gentle - careful or he might break – thrusts, working her way in deeper, little by little. 

Cas breathed hard, his whole body trembling. This was new, this was  _ so _ new. As much as they had done together, she had never done this for him. Then again, he’d never asked. He still hadn’t asked, but they’d been together long enough that Meg knew him, knew his secrets and his shameful longings –  _ not shameful! _

He canted his ass back, then forward and back again, chasing the friction against his dick and pushing back on her finger silently asking,  _ practically begging, _ for more. He kept his mouth well occupied on her neck, licking and biting and sucking, to keep from saying it out loud.

He couldn’t do that.  _ He couldn’t. _

He bit down particularly hard when her finger became two and she started stretching him and then when she stretched ju-u-st right...

Cas gasped, his hips jerking more forcefully and he dove into her mouth once more with a groan.

She pulled away, laughing that sultry laugh of hers. “There ya go, Clarence...”

Her fingers sped up the pace and he groaned again. God, this felt better than he’d ever imagined.  _ What if... what if he... what if Dean - _

Swallowing, Cas thrust frantically against her, wanting more and more and more - but no, that wasn’t fair. This wasn’t fair. Meg was here with him, Meg was doing all these things for him and he… she deserved more from him in return than him blindly seeking his pleasure, with vague, forbidden –  _ not forbidden! _ – thoughts of someone else slipping in to keep them company.

He reached down to pick her up by her pert ass - he’d always loved playing with those milky white globes - braced her against the wall and slid inside with a well-aimed thrust. 

Her head fell against the wall with a moan, her legs wrapping around him tightly and her fingers slipping free. He whimpered at the loss but  _ reveled  _ in the feel of her slick and tight around him. 

She grinned up at him and he knew he was in trouble.

“C’mon Clarence, fuck me like you mean it. Pretend I’m Dean-o taking your thick cock up his ass. Imagine you’re hitting him right in that magic spot –“ she gasped, her grin going wider as he groaned and thrust harder. “Yeah, just like that. Pound him like you’re pounding me. Imagine him, his legs spread wide, desperate for you to give him the good fucking you both are too repressed to ask for.” 

“Meg,” he growled. He couldn’t figure out if he was asking her to keep going or to stop. His skin felt too hot, tingly all over, a wave of need and longing washing over him.

“Fuuuuuck, yeah,” She gasped again, grinding down, clenching tightly around him. “He’d be a changed man,  _ begging _ for your cock.”

Cas growled again, the images rising unbidden at every word. He thrust inside her hard, snapping his hips forward, her wet back squeaking against the shower wall. 

She curled her fingers into his hair and yanked his face down to hers. She looked up at him through her lashes in a devious way, her lips just barely touching his. “Then imagine Dean pounding into  _ your _ ass.  _ Imagine _ him. I bet he’s thick and hard and he’d be so gloriously deep inside you. You bouncing on his cock the way I’m doing right now? He’d be looking at you like he was seeing  _ heaven _ , Clarence.”

Every word had him losing control, his thrusts getting rougher and harder.

Meg scratched at his back, moaning, “God, yes! Just like that!”

Arching her back, Meg pushed down on his dick as well as she could from her precarious position. Water pattered around them, the shower doors steamed from the heat. The sound of it nearly drowned out his gasping breaths and the sharp slap of skin on skin. With all that, the familiar wet squelch of him sliding inside her was definitely lost.

Holding tight to Cas’s neck with one hand, Meg slid her other back down between his legs, relishing in the sharp, keening cry that fell from his lips when she breached him once more with two fingers. She found the same spot and she pressed it again, rubbing it mercilessly, watching his face contort with pleasure with avid eyes.

Cas whimpered and moaned in ways she’d never heard before as his hips moved frantically against her. Meg watched in awe. Not that she’d ever felt anything was missing from their love life, but hell! 

She should have done this a  _ long  _ time ago.

His threw his head back, the spray of the shower forcing his eyes closed and she attached herself to his neck. She licked her way over the column of his throat, over the rasp of his stubble and further up, taking his earlobe between her lips and sucking, her hips grinding down all the while. 

Meg was quickly reaching the edge and she knew it, Cas always felt so good inside her that it never took long to send her barrelling over with no chance of stopping -

Her fingers faltered as her orgasm crashed around her, cresting again and again She threw her head back, only Cas's quick moving hand saving her from a concussion.

“Yes! Yes, yes – oh go-o-od, yes!” she yelled. “Harder, Clarence. Gotta be hard enough to make the furniture move.” She smirked at him, bringing her head back to catch his eyes. She slid her legs higher and groaned as she pulsed again. He was so hard, so thick, so… “F-f-f-uuuuuuck, yeah…”

Her limbs grew weak and trembly in the aftermath and she pushed lazily at Cas’s shoulders. “Enough, big boy, put me down.”

He slid out of her, still hard and desperate, his eyes feverish. He panted as he helped her stand back on her own two feet, carefully making sure she didn’t slip. Cas was always conscientious like that.

“All right, your turn, Clarence. But first,” she twirled her fingers around in the air. “Turn around.”

His eyes widened. “Meg…”

“Cas, you know you want this…” she stepped closer to him, her breasts brushing against his chest, the now over sensitive nipples tingling and sending lazy zings down between her legs despite her orgasms. Her hands slid down his arms, then up and down again. “If you’re really not ready, just turn off the shower, but if you trust me, then turn around, and place your hands on the wall. Kay, babe?”

He trembled in anticipation and with nerves, swallowing as he turned slowly, bracing his hands on the wall and leaning his head forward to rest on them. Cas looked down, his eyes stuttering to a stop at the sight of his erection. Not only had it  _ not _ flagged at the thought of what was to come, but was harder, throbbing almost painfully.

She tapped the inside of his thighs and he gulped, spreading his legs further apart into a wider stance without a second thought, his ass canting up and out, towards Meg. He breathed hard, waiting, waiting, waiting…

He shivered as the shower door opened briefly again, and then a few seconds later, he groaned at the feel of her palming his butt cheeks. He blushed when he couldn’t help but push into her hands, hoping she’d return to her previous activity.

He gasped in surprise and relief when she did, three fingers this time, cold lube coating them. She flexed her fingers slightly as she slid inside, the stretch burning some but oh  _ god  _ did it feel good. It wasn’t supposed to feel so good – he wasn’t allowed to like this! No! He was! He’d gotten out of that hellhole a long time ago.

It didn’t take long for them to pick up the rhythm again, Cas pressing down desperately on her fingers, whining as he stayed just… out… of… reach…

“Your turn to scream, Clarence,” she breathed into his ear, her fingers withdrawing.

“Meg…Meg please…” he whispered, tears stinging his eyes once more. He’d been so close.

Meg ran a hand down Cas’s thigh soothingly. “I know sweetheart, just a little bit longer. I’m gonna give you  _ exactly _ what you need, okay?”

Both hands gripped his hips but something nudged at his hole. “Wh-what?” Cas stiffened, his hands slipping down the wall in… in… he wasn’t sure what. It wasn’t quite shock and yet...

“Easy, Clarence, easy… it’s a small one, I promise. I’m taking you gentle for your first time. You deserve to have someone taking care of you the way you’re always taking care of everyone else,” she said, pressing forward. Castiel shifted his hands and arms back into place so that when he dropped his head he hit his hands instead of the wall.

It was bigger than her fingers and she said it was  _ small?  _ Oh dear God, he felt…. He wasn’t sure what he felt, Meg was turning him upside down but it… it felt  _ good _ ,  _ real  _ good, but at the same time, not quite enough, tantalizing him with the thought of  _ more _ .

“God, you’re still so fucking tight. Don’t wanna hurt you, baby,” Meg grunted with effort, slowly pushing, pushing, pushing… 

She was draped over Cas’s back, her hands keeping him still. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to shove back, get it all in in one fell swoop, feel it deep inside him or if he should yank away and put a stop to this. 

“You gotta relax some, okay?”

He wanted to, he really did. But the anticipation was mixing with his guilt and making him too tense. He closed his eyes, trying to relax and he whined when it didn’t work.

Meg’s lips brushed his lower shoulder blades, her breasts dragging over him. “I know what you can do…” somehow, he could  _ feel  _ the smirk against his skin. “Touch yourself – but not too fast or hard. We just want to edge you a little closer, not set you off before you get to the Grand Finale.”

Cas angled his head against his arm, opening his eyes to look down at his wet cock, dark with need and throbbing, as he took it in his other hand. He bit his lip and his eyes slid closed once more as he stroked himself.

“That’s it,” she murmured, sliding in further. He whimpered and his hand sped up. “Slower, Clarence, it’s not a race.”

He slowed his hand to a torturous pace and sobbed with every shift deeper. It was hard and  _ oh so good. _ So…  _ so _ good _. _ No, it shouldn’t be – yes, he was allowed to feel good… he stuttered and she rubbed her thumbs against his skin.

“Shhh, It’s okay. I know how guilty this make you feel. How ashamed and dirty. Your family really did a number on you, huh? Those overzealous religious nuts,” She bit out before taking a deep, calming breath, easing further inside.

“But just think – a man and a woman together is natural in their eyes. So what we’re doing  _ must  _ be natural.” She flexed back just the tiniest bit before edging forward once more.

Cas whimpered.

“And if it’s natural for us to be together, for you to enjoy being together, and to enjoy  _ this, _ and God is all about love, then there should be no shame to feel.  _ They _ should feel it for caging you, for turning you against yourself.”

Meg bottomed out with a sigh and Cas with a shout. “Oh… oh fuck…” he whispered.

“There ya go,” she said, stilling. “I want you to let go. I want you to make as much goddamn noise as you want. I want you to curse, and to blaspheme, and I want us to move the furniture. You got that?”

Castiel nodded frantically, feeling her inside him where nothing had ever been before. It felt so different, so good and then she moved, brushing that wonderful spot again. He cried out involuntarily and she shifted and began measured thrusts, hitting it with every push, every plunge…

Soon enough, all thought had fled from his mind as he chased his pleasure, nothing inhibiting him from being as vocal as he wanted to be. Water spattered against the wall, Megs hips slapped against this ass, her strap-on hitting him deep and hard, his hand stroking his cock faster and faster. His hips moved in sync with his hand and he was unable to slow himself down now.

Cas was racing toward the finish line, and it had never felt so wonderful.

Meg leaned in again, the shift causing him to cry out. “If it feels this good with a  _ fake _ cock inside you, just imagine a  _ real  _ one, all fat and veiny and throbbing with need. Imagine being filled up with his come with every pulse. Imagine Dean behind you, being driven crazy by the sight of his dick disappearing into your ass. Mmmmm… God, it’s a sight to see. I could eat you up, Clarence,” Meg panted.

Her visuals combined with her thrusting hips, her wonderfully dirty mouth and that tight fingered grip had Cas hurtling toward the edge and from the sound of it, Meg was going right along with him this time.

“Nnnngh…” He groaned, trying to push back harder and faster onto the toy Meg was fucking him with. She gasped when he did. 

“Fuck, Clarence,” she growled, thrusting harder. “God, seeing you so turned on is making me so damn horny. I think I could come just  _ watching  _ you and Dean going at it. Hell, I’ve always been into threesomes… D’ya think Dean-o would be into it?”

Cas’s eyes blew wide at the idea.

What if he didn’t have to lose Meg to have Dean.

What if he could have  _ both  _ of them?

“The combinations are endless - what we could do to each other,” she groaned, her hips speeding up, her hands yanking him back. “So many holes, all those tongues and hands, I wouldn’t even know where to start - do I want you to fuck me while Dean fucks you?  Or you fucking Dean while he fucks me? Or maybe, I take one of you like this and the other fucks my ass?”

Cas couldn’t take it any longer - Meg’s groaning fantasies had him seizing up, coming all over the shower wall, clenching down so hard on her strap-on that she couldn't move, but it didn’t seem to matter cause she was crying out too and her fingernails dug deep into the flesh of his hips.

It would leave marks but he didn’t care. 

Cas loved being marked up by Meg.

What if he were to be marked up by Meg  _ and  _ Dean?

He spurted a little more before slumping against the shower wall with a groan. Meg giggled against his back. “You liked those ideas, didn’t you?”

She slapped his ass and pulled out slowly, Cas whimpering at how empty he now felt. A few moments later, her hands returned, gentle in an almost unMeglike way. She had always been more gentle with Cas than he’d ever seen her with anyone else.

Her hands wrapped around him, sliding around his middle as he panted hard. Her head rested against his back. 

“I love you, Clarence,” she whispered. “And I meant every word. I love you enough to share you. And i’m not just doing this for you. It has to be the right person, and I think you’ve chosen well. Dean’s an ass sometimes, but so am I. And he’s loyal as hell, and the way he looks at you… Clarence, he looks at you the way you look at me. You make me feel like I’m worth something.”

“You  _ are  _ worth something, Meg,” Cas said. “And you don’t  _ need  _ someone to validate that, but I will tell you that till you believe it.”

“Good, cause I intend to do the same for you, and odds are, so will Dean,” Meg said, her voice going gruff. “Now c’mon, let's rinse off and go to bed. We got a lot to talk about in the morning if we’re gonna get Dean-o in our bed, and I need my beauty sleep and my mandated cuddle time to fortify myself for that little heart to heart.”

Cas chuckled.

He also stood amazed. 

Meg had found a way to single handedly take his guilt away, and maybe it was his post orgasmic bliss, but he didn’t feel quite as afraid or ashamed at the thought of being with Dean the way he’d always been told was wrong.

He knew it wasn’t. He’d known that for a long time, intellectually.

But telling his heart that had been hard.

With Meg’s help… and maybe… maybe Dean’s too… he could finally work past that.

  
  


.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Animated Gif version of the picture:
> 
>   
> 
> 
> Rebloggable Tumbler Links:
> 
> [ Story with Safe version of art ](https://pherryt.tumblr.com/post/177172020816/clearing-the-steam-supernatural-megstiel)   
>  [NSFW version of art with Gif](https://unsafedragons.tumblr.com/post/177172142597/megstiel-for-an-a03-story-clearing-the-steam)


End file.
